I've stayed away from blogging for a long time and I can't really put my finger on why. I have a lot of excuses. I say I'm busy. I'm not that busy. I say I don't have things to say. I have lots to say. I say I'm tired. Well, at least that one's true. But the truth is these are excuses.
I had a great conversation with a friend of mine a few weeks ago about our deepest shame and I came up with a theory. I think what we hate most in ourselves may actually be our greatest strength. I think that we let the Enemy tell us that we are not good at our gifts so we won't use them. Take my mother for example. She has said for my entire life that she is not good with words. She feels she never uses the right ones and that when she does choose to speak it makes her appear foolish. But do you know what I see? Every time my mother has thoughtfully sat down with me and encouraged me, every time she has given me advice, every time she has taken the time and effort to write me a card just because it has changed my life, built me up, made me stronger. Because of her words. The very same words that she feels are her worst asset. Just imagine what would have happened if she has listened to the lie that she was not good with words? How many people would have given up? How many times would I have traveled the wrong road?
OK, a biblical example. Remember Moses? When God asked him to rescue His people Moses said "who me? But I'm not a leader. You should chose someone else." Then God tells Moses "Who is God here? Who knows what is best? Who knows what my people need? That's right. Me. God." (At this point in the conversation I imagine that God sounds a lot like me with my kindergarten students "OK! Everyone point to the teacher. Oh you DO know who's the boss!"). The point is, maybe what we see as shameful, weak, hopeless, maybe those things are the things we should be using. The things we should be growing. Maybe those are the things the Enemy wants us to forget about because God has big plans for those weaknesses.
As I come to the end of this little speech it occurs to me that I might be dangerously close to comparing myself to Moses and my blog to the freeing of thousands of Israelites which seems a little self important... But my point still stands. Let Him use your weakness for His glory. Fight the Lie that says He can't.
So, I'm coming back to writing.
