Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Breastfeeding Basics: Ten Things You Wish Your Momma had Told You


I debated about making this a series, and then I remembered what it was like to have a new baby. You really need everything all in one place. So, for your convenience, a ridiculously long (but hopefully interesting) post about breastfeeding. Boy's look away.

Only a few hour old. About to attempt nursing for the second time.


As Wiggles and I begin (well, complete) the weaning process I find myself thinking about the beginning of this journey. I have been so blessed to be successful at nursing for so long (over a year. Yay!). I know that there are a lot of women out there who have not had it as easy as I have had it. However, that does not mean it was easy for me! Only that it was easier for me than it is for some women. The first few weeks were rough. Really rough. So rough in fact that I almost gave up. I am so glad that I didn't! And I wanted to share what I learned to encourage other women not to give up either! It does get easier for almost every one, I promise.

So here's what I've learned:

1) You know your baby and you know your body. From the moment you are handed that slippery, beautiful creature, this is true. This means that you have the right to tell the hospital not to give your little one a pacifier or a bottle in the nursery. It can cause babies not to want to take the breast and can fill them up so they aren't motivated to try and nurse. Some people even print out a sign to stick on their baby's bassinet in the hospital nursery that tells nurses to bring her to you if she's hungry, even in the middle of the night.

This also means that you do not have to agree to supplemental feeding. This is where the actually attach a device to your breast so that baby can practice nursing and get some formula at the same time. This actually hurts your chances of nursing long term! The way your milk works is based on supply and demand. If baby is getting some formula the demand is less and therefore you make less milk. When they take the formula away, your body isn't producing enough milk to satisfy your baby. That doesn't mean you can't increase your milk supply, but I have always found it way harder to increase milk supply rather than decrease.

At the end of the day, this baby belongs to you. You are not a terrible mother if you decide to do something different than "they" are telling you. You are also not a terrible mother if your baby really does need this help, or even if you end up using formula. It won't scar your baby or stunt her intellectual growth and you will still be just as close to her as any other breastfeeding mother. I was a formula baby and I took AP classes and my mom is my best friend so, release yourself from that guilt.

2) It does hurt at first. Don't let anyone tell you differently. However, conversely, don't let it scare you either. I think that all of the lactation consultants and pro-breastfeeding groups want so badly for you to stick with breastfeeding that they don't want to scare you away by being honest. The truth is, for the first few days (or weeks if you're me) it's not much fun and it can be very frustrating if it doesn't get better quickly. A good rule of thumb is, if it's still more than mildly uncomfortable a few days after your milk comes in, get help! You can get it for free. More on that later.

3) Research what a good "latch" looks like. YouTube is a fabulous place to look. If the baby is latching correctly,  half the battle is won. If baby isn't doing it right, it will only frustrate him (he won’t be getting milk fast enough) and hurt you. Ease your finger in his mouth to release the suction and try again. This could take several tries at each feeding. I know it did for me.

4) I wish someone had told me this before I started instead of when I was about to call it quits. It is so important,  especially for first time moms, to remember that you are new at this! And so is your baby. Neither one of you has ever done this before,  and it takes practice for everyone. 


5) You need this: Earth Mama, Angel Baby Nipple Butter. I tried several products and this was the best. You have to get it at stores like New Seasons or Zuppan's. It's all-natural so you don't have to rinse it off like you do lanolin before feeding (which for me would have been excruciating). Plus it smells fantastic. It helped me heal so much faster!

6) Correct undergarments are essential. I really think that half my problem was that I hadn't gotten a nursing bra yet, and because I was nursing so often, I wasn't really wearing a bra at all. One word: chafing. That is all I have to say about that.

7) I was told that I had to actually wake my child up to eat every 2-3 hours around the clock for four weeks. This is absurd! Don't misunderstand me, this is actually true for the first few days, but after about a week LET THEM BE (as long as they are gaining weight well)! Again, you know your child! If you think they need to eat more, by all means,  keep waking them up; or if you think after four days they're getting enough you know best. If they're sleeping, they need to be sleeping. Feed them when they wake up. The longest Wiggles ever slept at that age was four hours anyway. My lactation consultant did tell me never longer than 5 hours though, so that was my rule of thumb.

8) Get help! Can I double underline and triple exclamation point that? Do not be ashamed that it's taking some time to click for you. There are many places you can go (and also a few that will come to you) if you are having trouble. My midwife had a few suggestions, so start there. Many hospitals will help you without charge and there is always La Lech League, which is an international organization dedicated to helping women breastfeed for as long as possible. They have classes and lactation consultants that will help you free of charge. I was lucky enough to have my mom’s best friend (she was a nurse in a birthing center for years), who is like another mom to me, come and help me through the roughest part. I still am so grateful to her. She gave me back my baby. I will never be able to thank her enough for that. My point is, get help. You'll be glad you did.

9) Relax! Relax when you are breastfeeding. Your body “lets down,” which is where the ducts holding the milk release it from the back and bring it to the front of your breast. It will not do this if you are tense. After my moms friend came to help me, I used to nurse with a Boppy pillow (buy this! It saved me. No really, you need it), and about four others, under my arms, behind my back. Anything to get comfortable. Then, once baby is latched correctly, relax as many muscles as you can. Legs, arms, neck, forehead, hands, feet. I’m not kidding. Every muscle you can without dropping the baby.

10) Switch positions every other time. It will help your nipples heal faster. I switched between the cross-cradle hold (this is a great beginner hold. Lot's of control) and the football hold. Although, since she was about three months I almost exclusively nurse lying on my side facing her. It’s way easier to relax this way (see number nine). However, you can’t do this until baby can hold their own head enough to keep the nipple in their mouth. This site explains latching and positions simply and with pictures (make sure to scroll down. I didn't see them at first).

So teeny!

I know it's a long post, but I hope that it helps you prepare for baby, or encourages you to keep trucking! Not that there's anyone out there reading this, but if you are and you have questions, leave a comment and I will answer as best I can or direct you to someone who can.

Breast of luck! (Haha, I'm so clever!)
Jillian

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Thankful Thursdays #4

Linking again! Visit her page! Read! Enjoy!

Can you really even call it Thankful Thursday if it's Saturday when you are writing? Well, I'm gonna, 'cause this is my blog and so there! That's the first grader in me. I repress her all week because I have teach them, not be them.

Here we go:


1) I am thankful for a Professional Development Coach at our school who came into my room, without me begging her, to teach my class when she heard my little angels being a slightly unruly as I talked with a parent who dropped by. So sweet! And desperately needed. Also, she gave me a bit of a pep talk last week, encouraging me to be firm with my class and keep on trucking! I think teaching (much like parenting) takes a whole village. I have no problem with people popping into my classroom to assist when it appears I might need a hand. Chances are, I DO need it.

Do you not love First Grade work?! Haha!
2) My husband, who bought me a book for my classroom because he wanted to get me a present. Junie B. Jones and the Mushy Gushy Valentine. If you have never read Junie B. please do. She's hilarious! Even for adults. Maybe even especially for adults. She's the perfect read aloud for Kindergartners and First Graders because she still has a few pictures, even though it's a chapter book. But also, a fantastic read to self all the way through Fourth or Fifth. Or for me...




3) W-2s in the mail early. Do I really need to elaborate on this one?

4) Pat giving me his pocket change so I can buy a Coke at school for a Friday treat.


See? Coke. Just like this pretty picture.


5) When my sister asks (over Skype) "Have you lost weight?" Why thank you dear, I believe I may have!

Jillian

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Sleeping Sorrows

Tonight I am sad. My little baby girl moved out of our room tonight. There are several reasons for this. The main reason is she goes to bed before us and when we come in to go to bed we tend to wake her up. Plus also every time Pat turns over there's a 50/50 chance she'll wake up. Seriously, I had no idea how loud sheets could be until I spent all night trying not to wake up Wiggles. 

But the main reason we finally made the move is because she woke up before 4 am (as in before the sun is up) last night (this morning?) and did not go back to sleep until 6. That's more than two hours people. No sleeping for anyone. We finally had to desert the room and head for the couches, leaving her to play loudly and then scream blue murder for another 45 minutes.

Does any one else feel like a terrible parent when they do this? There's nothing else, believe me. I know that there are some very (!!!) strong opinions about crying it out, so please, if you have comments, make them encouraging. But believe me when I tell you I have tried every other way. I have read every book, every forum, consulted pediatricians, both sets of grandparents and every other parent I know and nothing (let me repeat for emphasis) NOTHING has worked. If there was any other way, believe me I would do it, but aside from rocking her all night long (this is actually not an exaggeration, I've done it) we had to let her figure it out. And every time she has trouble sleeping, and I have tried everything in my power to help her sleep to no avail, and I still have to leave her to cry, I sit upstairs and feel like a terrible mother. Any one with me? Is this not the most horrible thing about being a parent? Giving your child what they need even though it rips your own heart out to see them struggle with your decision?

And that got me thinking. Is that not how God feels about us? I have spent the last three years bitter and angry with the Lord for what I felt like was abandoning me; leaving me without direction, alone in this world. It has taken being a parent to begin to comprehend God's love for me. He is giving me what I need. And it's hard for me. It's hard for Him. He's not coldly watching me suffer, He's sitting upstairs listening to the monitor and silently crying with me in my pain and sorrow. Counting each tear I shed. Just as I sit here and mourn with my little girl tonight, knowing that I am doing exactly what she needs, even if it's not easy for her... or me.

Sorrowfully yours,
Jillian

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Kipper the Dog

As Mommy to a one year old I try not to turn on the TV to often. For several reasons. First of all, Wiggles doesn't understand a whole lot of plot. To be honest, I'm not so sure I understand the mind numbing plots of some of the kids shows either. Second, I want her to have time to play and use up all of her energy so she sleeps well (can I get an amen?). And lastly, there aren't that many that I actually enjoy watching. Now, here comes the but... 

But I love Kipper. In fact, everyone in the house loves Kipper, Grandparents, Daddy and Uncle included. I have even caught I mean found Pat watching it after Wiggles goes to bed. To be fair he had been snuggling her before her nap and it just happened to still be on. However, the fact that there wasn't a stampede for the remote to change the show was remarkable.

Here's why I like Kipper: Kipper is simple. No, not simple minded, just... unhindered. He and his best friend Tiger basically just hang out and we watch their play time. There are some other characters and there is some conflict (and by conflict I mean they were fishing and it started raining so they had to stop etc.), but basically it's relaxing. Daddy and Wiggles watch Kipper together at least once a day and by the end of a ten minute episode both of them are practically asleep! It's that calm. 


Daddy and Kipper. It's a good evening! He's gonna kill me for using this picture...
However, Patrick and I have come across several holes in this show (much like every other kids show. Does Dora's mother know she's out crossing mountains and fording rivers with a monkey?) that I think need addressing. 

1. How old is Kipper supposed to be? He is completely self-sufficient and does everything from pour cereal to strip wall paper (no lie), but he still thinks blowing up a balloon is hilarious. Really Kipper?

2. Doesn't any one have any parents? This is a common question in kids shows. Seriously, where did they all go? Dora has no parents, Max and whats-her-face have no parents, Kipper has no parents, even the teenage Power Rangers are shockingly guardian-free.

3. Where did Arnold come from? In the show Kipper has another friend named Pig who is, can you guess? That's right, a pig. Pig has this little pig named Arnold that follows him around everywhere and never speaks. I mean, not even a snoopy-like chuckle every now and again. Although, now that I think about it, he does occasionally suck his thumb a la Maggie Simpson. So who is this mystery piglet? Who does he belong to? Is he Pigs little brother? Tragic orphan? Illegitimate, but ultimately, lovable son? I hear tell that he is somehow Pig's cousin, but if this is true, that means both Pig and Arnold must have parents somewhere, but I've never seen them.

and last, but not least

4. Why is Pig just called Pig? Everyone else has names (albeit somewhat confusing ones. Why a gray terrier called is Tiger I'll never know.). But poor sad Pig is just left with his species. Although, if you watch the show you don't feel to sorry for him. He's a little self-focused. But what self-sufficient, cousin babysitting, wall paper stripping 3-year-old isn't?

All that said, seriously, turn on Netflix and enjoy. We love Kipper at our house.

This is my favorite episode. Start at 3min 30sec. Adorable!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Unintentional New Year's Resolutions

I've never really been one for new years resolutions. I've never been unhappy enough with my weight to launch an attack on fat and I've never really been an "advance your career in the new year" kind of person. And to be perfectly honest, I'm just not all that ambitious. No, no, it's OK. It's not like I don't get things done, it's just, I'm about as type B as it is possible to be. Never do today what you don't have to do until next week. That's my motto.

Anyway, I digress. The point is this, I have several unintentional resolutions that God has put on my heart. It's not like I sat down and thought about them, more like I found myself doing things differently on purpose and it happened to be the beginning of January. Also, they are not all major things. Some are actually quite dull like: "wear my glasses more."

Here is the very short list of things that I will be doing differently in 2013:

1) Wear glasses more. I already said this one, but it's so necessary. Remember the Brian Regan sketch about putting his glasses on? "I coulda been seein' things!" Seriously, I say that every time I put them on! Pregnancy and my eyes did not agree.

2) Make new friends. This is something that is hard for me. I am introverted by nature. A day well spent is one in my pajamas watching movies with my family. It's not that I don't want friends. I just have a hard time taking a relationship from a conversation at church to a real, meet for coffee, care about each others families kind of relationship. It's also not that I don't like people, because I do. It's that I am afraid that they don't really like me. That they are somehow humoring me at church but secretly thinking "whew! glad she finally left!" The point is, it has allowed me to make excuses and end up 26 years old without any real, lasting friendships from people that are not blood related or legally bound to me. 

3) Take the ProTeach assessment. Not only do I have to do this to keep my teaching licence, but I want to prove to myself that I am a good enough teacher to do it. I have huge test anxiety. So I have been putting this off for about three years, but the time has come, as the walrus said (you know to talk of many things? anyway...). So that will be on the docket this year. There is one major hurdle however, the test itself costs quite a bit to take, so we're really praying for financial provision for the test and also the class that you take before the test.

So there you have it. A better me in 2013. Well, with Heavenly assistance that is. What are your resolutions this year, intentional or otherwise?

Jillian

P.S. here's the video of Brian Regan's sketch about the eye doctor. Watch it. It's hilarious!



Friday, January 11, 2013

Thankful Thursdays except on Friday

Linking up with Rebecca from A Beautiful Ruckus  again. Head on over and veiw hers and add your own as well!

It's that sort of week folks. Thursday things get pushed to Friday etc. You know how it is. This week I am thankful for a few things.

1. This little cheese ball Turning 1. You can read more about that here:
That is cheese and not a mouse tail as my brother-in-law so helpfully suggested.

2. These people who put up with us every day:


Pretty Grandma. Doesn't she have stunning eyes?
Hangin' with Papa


3. These people who support us without question, even when their lives don't make sense either:

Auntie Abby, my beautiful sister
Oma and a Quesadilla. All is well
Walking to Opa. Pardon the disgusting over exposed picture.

4. And also these: Because some weeks you just want deserve them.


Happy Friday all!

Jillian

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A letter to Wiggles on her Birthday

I guess I like writing letters. Maybe if I write another blog someday it will be in the form of letters to people in my life. Anyway here goes

My Dearest Little Girl,

Today you turned one and I am so filled with joy to see what you have become in the last year. Daddy and I are so proud of all you have learned to do! You are such a curious little girl. Your favorite thing to ask it "oo daa?" translated, "what's that?" as you point at anything and everything. You are sweet and fiery all at once and you make us laugh at every moment.

I also wanted to share with you that now that you are a toddler, a big girl, there are going to be some things that will be different. You see, God gave me and Daddy the amazing privilege of being your parents, but as Uncle Ben tells Spiderman, with great privilege (OK, he says power) comes great responsibility. 

There is only one thing that I want for you to know in this entire world and that is that you are a loved daughter of the King, you're Savior Jesus Christ. That's it. And that is all. It is everything. So you must know that through all of the changes that are about to come as you become a toddler and not a baby any more, I hope you will know that this is my aim. Whatever mistakes I will make, whatever I do right, I hope it points you toward Christ.

So when I lovingly put you in time out tomorrow when you try to put your finger in the light socket (again), it is with His love that I discipline. And when you throw your cup on the floor on purpose and I say, "uh-oh all done" and take your cup away I am trying with all my heart to emulate His heart for you. And when I rock you to sleep like I do every night (and shall do every night as long as you need me) it is His embrace we are sharing.

You see Dear Heart, I too am a Daughter of the King. And like any daughter, I want to be just like my Daddy, just as you pretend to be like your daddy when you wear his hat and take bites of his toast. I hope one day you too will emulate your Heavenly Father's love as well.

With all of my heart, and His,
Mommy

Birthday Party Smile